I happened to have known enough gay people over the years to develop a casual realization that the stereotypes that I learned as a child are not accurate, and that gay people suffer a lot of harassment and discrimination. I didn't do much about that expect offer general support to some gay friends, but four seminal events that took place in 1995 and 1996 propelled me to get involved. (They're listed in no particular order - except the last)
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A gay kid in a Minneapolis suburb died in a murder/suicide. He got mixed up with his eventual murderer - a young gay man - because he had no safe outlet in his family, school, church, or community where he could be accepted as gay, and find out that he could lead an honorable and fulfilled life as a gay man. When I realized that the institutions that were supposed to nurture him lied to him about what he was and what he could be, closed off his opportunity to grow, and effectively chased him into the arms of a child molester, I realized that someone needed to speak out.
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A church friend from high school days, whom I hadn't seen in at least 20 years, died of AIDS. When I realized that he was gone, and that I didn't take the opportunity to let him know that being gay was just fine with me, I realized that I had missed an opportunity to speak up.
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A gay-friendly remark I made in a casual conversation brought on an anti-gay reaction that changed my view of the state of gay people in our society. One disappointing aspect of the conversation was the demonization of gay people, with no evident regard for the humanity, sincerity, kindness, and loving devotion that I had seen in gay people, no apparent understanding of the diversity of "gay lifestyles", and no realization that the supposed negative aspects of "the gay lifestyle" are widely manifested among heterosexuals! Another was scapegoating. One specific comment was something like "just think of all the families that have been destroyed because of homosexuality!" At the time, I knew of one marriage that had broken up because of homosexuality. At this point, after several years of monthly meetings that address family issues related to homosexuality, I can guarantee that a lot more families are destroyed by heterosexual misbehavior, pride, and selfishness than because of homosexuality!
But the most painful aspect of that conversation was the speed and ferocity with which Romans 1:26-27 was invoked to proclaim that "God says" that homosexuality is a terrible sin. That speed and ferocity made it clear that this was no spontaneous gut-level reaction, but a trained response that must have been developed in a fervently anti-gay religious environment. At the time, I was only vaguely aware of the proactivity of the anti-gay religious movement, and of the specific Biblical references that were used to support the movement, but this encounter certainly brought it home to me.
But perhaps more significantly, when I sat down that very evening put that passage in context by reading more than just a couple of verses, I saw not only that the interpretation that was thrown at me with such ferocity was horribly inaccurate, but also that the very next chapter of Romans spoke strongly against the kind of condemnatory passion that I had just witnessed! (See the presentation notes cited below for more detail.) With such harsh and misleading rhetoric so close at hand, I realized that I needed to learn more, and to speak out.
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Finally, when I moved to Cleveland, I decided to contact the local PFLAG chapter to see what this organization for friends and family of gay people was about. At the same time, Cleveland had its own traumatic incident. A bright and eloquent 14-year-old boy killed himself, after seeing abuse and being abused just for seeming not sufficiently macho, and after realizing he was, in fact, gay - and despite the expressed love and support of his family. His mom, Leslie Sadasivan, came to PFLAG for support about the same time I came for political reasons. Leslie and her son Robbie became the catalyst for an awakening in Cleveland much as Matthew Shepard's death became a catalyst for a national awakening a couple of years later. Robbie's death was not nearly so politicized - or as polarizing - as Matt's, but his amazing mother moved a lot of hearts as she spoke out through her grief, defending the legacy of her wonderful son, and decrying the institutions and the messages that led her son to say (I'm paraphrasing here...) "But, of course, gay people are homophobic, too. After all, we learn the same lessons as everyone else." Clearly, those lessons need to change, and that's what I'm trying to do.
Some of the organizations with which I am personally affiliated:
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PFLAG-Cleveland (Particularly note the special notices at the top of the page)
- National PFLAG
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GLSEN Cleveland (not much on their web site) and National GLSEN - the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network
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The Lesbian/Gay Community Service Center of Cleveland (I'm an active volunteer, particularly in an anti-harassment program we call SSAFE - Safe Schools are for everyone)
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The Human Rights Campaign, which is the largest gay-rights political lobbying organization. Over 1,100 people attended their annual dinner in Cleveland last year (and the year before that, PFLAG-Cleveland received HRC's annual service award!)
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Transfamily - a support, education, and activism group for Transgender people (I can't claim too much credit for being actively involved, but I appear in public often enough with the founder of Transfamily that I want to at least give her some credit and notice)
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This is Not About Sex - a documentary file being produced in Cleveland, detailing, among other things, the experiences of the members of Spectrum a Gay/Straight Alliance (GSA) at a local high school. Those kids really are wonderful to watch in action, and I'm really looking forward to the release of the film. I can't say that I have an active role, but I do appear in the trailer, and PFLAG is trying to help with the fundraising.
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